Monday, November 24, 2014

40 weeks

That's right. He's here!!

On Tuesday, November 18th, Cooper Smith joined, and completed, our little family.

He was born at 12:49 pm after only 7 hours of active labor. He was 7 pounds 12 ounces and 20 3/4 inches long. Head circumference was 14 1/4 inches. He was almost the exact same size as his older sister and couldn't look more like her if he tried.

He is absolute perfection and we are all head over heels in love. Birth story to come....

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

38 weeks


How Far Along? 38 weeks

Total Weight Gained/Loss? enough. too much. whatever.

Sleep: I'm actually sleeping a lot better. Still up about four times a night and still so, so tired. But when I'm asleep, I'm hard asleep.

Best Moment of the Week: this is a tough one.

Movement- still so much movement. And I'm pretty sure he's still trying to drill a hole through my pelvis. It hurts. Like for real.

Food Craving- water. ice. that's about it. Cracker Barrel roast.

Food aversions- all the things. nothing sounds good. nothing.

Symptoms- I did something to my back this week. I was helping E get her winter clothes out and I'm not sure if I twisted funny or what, but my back is KILLING me. It's actually the worst back pain I can remember having. I had to go in to the doctor Monday to get looked at thanks to the back pain and cramps that felt a lot like my period starting. I got checked and things are happening, but my inner cervix (when did there become two?!?) is still closed up tight. So that stinks. And my back is still on fire. Boo hiss and all that jazz.

Labor Signs- some off and on cramping. That's about it. I'm getting to the point where I'm pretty sure this kid is never coming.

Belly Button- flat.

What I miss- not hurting. My whole body hurts. So over this.

What I'm looking forward to- having this baby. Let's go little man!!

Big Sister Status- She seems to be getting excited. She talks about him a lot more. She is just the smartest little girl. She knows I've been in a lot of pain lately and she's so patient. She helps me so much. If I drop something, she's quick to pick it up and hand it back. Every time I say "ouch" or anything along those lines, I get a quick "you ok Mom?". Seriously. This kid, she is the best person ever.

Monday, October 27, 2014

36 weeks


How Far Along? 36 weeks

Total Weight Gained/Loss? 34 pounds. ouch.

Sleep? a little better. I stay tired but I've been having a little bit easier time getting to sleep these days. I still get up at least four or five times a night to use the restroom. That's a chore.

Best Moment of the Week: it's been a decent week. I'm not sure what sticks out as the best though....

Movement- Lots of rolls. There is a foot that is so far out my right side I don't know how any organs are still there. He's found my pelvis and I guess his head or something is there, and OMG the pain.

Food Craving- water. Still. Nothing else really.

Food aversions- everything. Still getting too full too quick and miserable. I've been getting nauseaus a lot lately too. There's been some pukage. Not fun.

Symptoms- pelvic pain. Heartburn. These weird feelings of things being "off". Like everything is slightly off kilter and out of place. I keep getting these feelings of anxiety too. Not sure if these are pregnancy related but I am not a fan.

Labor Signs- still Braxton-Hicks. Lots of them.

Belly Button- flat.

What I miss- my lady bits not hurting. The pain down there is out of control.

What I'm looking forward to- an appointment where they tell me I'm making progress. Can I get that please?!?!?

Big Sister Status- Big Sister is getting ready. I've started talking to her a little bit about the hospital and me being gone for a couple of days. She's not a fan of that at all. She's been a bit clingy lately as well and ends up in our room most nights. I'm cool with that though. She won't be there forever and she does have a HUGE change heading her way. A few extra late night snuggles won't hurt.

Monday, October 20, 2014

35 weeks


How Far Along? 35 weeks

Total Weight Gained/Loss? will find out Thursday

Sleep? the insomnia is still fierce. I actually never had this with E so it's throwing me off a bit. And I'm up and down a lot these days for bathroom breaks which is basically like rolling over an elephant so.... sleep isn't so great.

Best Moment of the Week: his nursery is done! yay! Also, a woman at a consignment store asked me when I was due the other day and when I said "next month", she looked genuinely shocked and told me I did not look big enough to be due next month. I wanted to kiss her on the mouth. Love her forever now.

Movement- Movement is changing a lot. It's a lot of rolls. A lot of rolls. And they all seem to be on my bladder. It's so weird feeling. Also that foot/leg may come out of my right side. You can literally grab his leg. It's crazy. He sticks it so high up that I feel like my rib may crack (which at this point with E, I swore she did).

Food Craving- water. Lots of ice water. Other than that I'm over food.

Food aversions- everything. I get too full to quick which blows.

Symptoms- pelvic pain. He is just so LOW. The waddling is fierce. And funny. I mean I can laugh at me. That's fine.

Labor Signs- still Braxton-Hicks. Lots of them.

Belly Button- flat.

What I miss- being able to bend over and not walk like a duck.

What I'm looking forward to- him being here. Seeing him on the ultrasound again made me so excited just to lay eyes on him. To see who he looks like and to just hold him. I swear it's not going to be real til he gets here so it needs to happen!

Big Sister Status- We talk about him a bit more. She said she's sure he'll be as cool as she is tonight. We shall see...

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

thoughts on two..

I'm nervous y'all. Like real nervous.

I've read enough blogs over the years to know I'm not alone in my thinking, but it doesn't really change things. You still think things like "they just don't know how much I really love my daughter" or crazy things like that.

Before I had BG, I was convinced that she wouldn't compare to how I felt for my dog. And while I realize how crazy that sounds now, pre-Mama me had nothing to compare too. She just knew that she really, really, REALLY loved her dog. That dog was my child. She could do no wrong. I loved her like my child because I didn't have any of my own. It was all I knew.

Then, I had Baby Girl. And Lacy became.. a dog.

I still loved her yes, but little things that I never noticed drove me nuts. Like how her nails tapped on the hard wood. Or how her hair got EVERYWHERE. Or how she would lick the baby's bottles and pacis driving me into a sterilization nightmare. And when she barked when I finally got the Kid Who Never Slept asleep?? RAGE. Like head spinning, Exorcism of Emily Rose, spinning.

Everyone told me it would happen. They told me the two would never compare. And I listened to them, but I didn't believe them. They clearly didn't love their dogs as much as I loved mine. That was the only explanation.

Now? Well there's a second kid coming. And while I am excited (there should be a disclaimer here that I am one of those people that get excited when the baby is here. Not really before.. I'm just wired that way), I am also terrified that this kid will never compare to BG.

Don't throw things. I'm allowed to be worried. I'm allowed to be nervous.

I'm not comparing them as two different people, I'm just saying BG takes up a HUGE chunk of my heart and it scares me to think of him coming and taking some of that.

I'm insane. But I'm not. I'm just saying it all out loud.

I know that the minute he gets here my heart is going to expand and stretch and make room for him that I didn't even know I had. That I didn't even realize it had the capability to do. But right now? Right now all I see is a huge change and we all know this girl is not a fun of the C word.

BG and I have had 4 1/2 years together. I'm not a stay at home Mom and I work a lot, but there have been long stretches of her life where I did stay home. And even working, we spend a lot of time just me and her. There are lots of trips taken just me and her. Lots of activities. Lots of bedtimes. Lots of meals and movies and shopping trips. She's been my faithful companion for 4 1/2 years. She's been my shopping buddy, my running buddy, my park buddy. The girl always down for a Target trip. She's my heart and soul in 4 foot form. And thinking of changing that dynamic scares me to death.

Honestly, I don't know how it's going to be with two kids. I've never had two. But I know that my relationship with E is special and deserves time put into it like I always have. I'm actually a bit excited at the challenge of making sure that both kiddos get special time one on one time. I look forward to getting to know this new babe. To see who he is. To see how he ticks.

But I'm still scared of how I'll feel with two. Less than six weeks til I know....

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