Sunday, March 1, 2015

full circle.

November is an extremely hard month around here.

While it's the beginning of the holiday season and pretty much the beginning of my favorite time of year, it's also the month that we suffered the most heart ache in.

It's the month that three of our pregnancies left us. The one where we found out about the other one that left us at Christmas. It's a hard, hard month.

When I found out Cooper was due in November, my heart sank. And when I went to that first ultrasound appointment, by myself since Mr. P was working out of town, and I was told that the baby's heart "was very slow but there's nothing we can do about it", I walked out to my car and just sobbed. Of course my November baby wasn't going to make it. It's such a bad month.

But God has bigger plans than us. Always. And they are always so, so much better than we can imagine them to be. Because that baby? He made it. And he turned an ordinary day in a month that used to bring so much heartache, into one of the best days ever. In a way it has all come full circle. All that heartache, all that loss in one month of a year and then He completed our family with the sweetest gift in that month.


This guy? He stole our hearts. He is absolutely the perfect little bookend to complete our family. I got my best gift of 2014 in November.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

3 months.

Oh Coop a loop these months are flying by.

You are just such a joy to us sweet boy. We are far more tired than we ever imagined we would be but you are beyond worth it. You are just the best little guy.

You are currently in 3-6 and some 6 month clothes. You can still wear 3 month but they are pretty tight. You are in size 1 diapers but just until we finish the ones we have. You are probably around 14 or so pounds. I should weigh and measure you. Put that on my to do list.

So what are you up to at 3 months little one?

-You are constantly blowing spit bubbles. Constantly. Your shirts are covered in drool and as much as I hate them, bibs have become a necessary evil. You are a drooling machine.

-You are just so smiley and so happy. Still not a ton of giggles but you do get really excited and make a very happy "cooing" noise. It's just as adorable as giggles. You love to play "where's Cooper?" and you loved to be "scared". Boo is your favorite word currently. You also love when we sing you the "Cooper the Pooper" song. Yes, it's an original.

-You are really starting to grab and hold onto things. You love the little giraffe rattle which we try to keep with you in your carseat.

-You are VERY obvious about being hungry and tired. When you're tired, you start to rub against our chest/shoulders. When you start getting like that it's time to put you down. You put yourself to sleep. You do not want to be rocked when you're that tired (this only happens at night. You want nothing to do with being put down during the day).

-You are obsessed with your hands. They are always in your mouth!

-You are hands down a Mama's boy. I get the best smiles from you and when I start talking you start looking around frantically until you lay eyes on me. If you can hear me but aren't touching me, you will pull yourself in the direction of my voice. I not so secretly love it. I hope you are always this way.

-You do not like to be put down. You'll hang out for a little while not attached to a person but it does not last long. You are just a people person. That's what I'm calling it anyway...

-You are still 50/50 breastmilk and formula. I'm so over pumping but you aren't showing any lack of interest in nursing when we're together so I'm bound and determined to let you lead. I know this will be over before I know it so even though my supply sucks and I'm over carting a pump all over the Carolinas, I'm in it for the long haul. You tell me little buddy.

-Your sleeping still leaves much to be desired. You are a terrible napper. You may have a good day where you get a couple of good naps but then you'll go days with the longest nap being 25 minutes. It can be maddening. You go to bed about 8 ish but are usually up around 2 am. Some days it will take you a couple of hours to get back to sleep which means my day starts at 2 am for good. I do not like those days. Most nights you nurse at 2 and then go back to sleep til 4 or 5. I can handle those days a bit better. You're pretty random. We've attempted "sleep training" but you really want nothing to do with it. Your sister was so easy that I couldn't understand why everyone didn't sleep train. Now I know. Some kids are just not going to have it.

All in all I don't mind your not sleeping. Don't get me wrong, you can start sleeping better any time now, but I'm slowly adjusting to the sucky sleep and I know you will eventually sleep so... I'm trying to hang in there. You've kind of got me wrapped though. This could be why you get away with everything.

You are such a joy Cooper. You really are. Everyone remarks on what a good baby you are. And while you're pretty high maintenance (need warm bottles, warm wipes, to be held ALL THE TIME), I wouldn't trade you for the world. I know not every baby is as easy as your sister was. You're just keeping us on our toes. We should thank you.

We love you more than the world Coop. You're our favorite little buddy.

Monday, February 9, 2015

my girl.

Oh this girl.

I love my child. Dearly. But to say she and I, no, she and EVERYBODY and having a time, would be putting it mildly.

I honestly have to brag on her for a second though. This girl? she is the best big sister ever. No seriously. EVER.
She is always quick to help out. You can ask her to go get something and she's on it before you finish the sentence. Even if she just made a trip upstairs, she'll go right back up there if it's for something her little brother needs. She loves to hold him, feed him, change his diaper (only wet ones!), and pick out his socks each morning to match his outfit.

I haven't had any of the "can't take a shower" problems, because I can. I can leave C with her for a few minutes (on his mat or something) and she will watch him like a hawk. She'll come get me the second he makes a peep and she knows better than to ever pick him up.

She has a heart of gold. If she accidentally does anything that might make him upset, it breaks her little heart. She climbed in my lap the other day only to sit on his leg and you would have thought her dog just died. She was so worried about him.
That is not to say that we aren't having our fair share of jealousy issues.

She gets a little upset every day as packages of spring clothes roll in for Cooper and less for her. She doesn't get that he has ZERO spring clothes while she already has last years. Try explaining that to a kid that hasn't had anyone else for her shopaholic Mom to buy for the last four years. It's real fun.

And the sleep issues? Oh the sleep issues.

For months now, E has gotten up every single night and ended up in our bed. Well, up until a couple of weeks ago when we had to get strict about the consequences if she kept it up. Let's put it this way, there was not a soul in this house getting a good night's sleep and it was not because of the newborn.

She decided she hated being upstairs by herself even though she's been upstairs by herself since we moved here. She then decided that she didn't have anyone up there watching her and that was not okay. She said they were "all dead" (aka, dolls). I'm telling y'all, it was bad.

She's not a good bed partner or we may have allowed it but it had to stop. So we finally laid down the law on that and she's managed to stay upstairs every night for the last week or so. Hallelujah amen.
She's been taking a nap at school most days and that's because she's not sleeping well at home. Her teachers are loving this latest development. Her parents not so much.

She's also been having a lot of issues with tantrums. We've managed to get pretty lucky in this department as she's never been a big foot stomper or someone who throws herself around. Until now.

Now I know all of this has got to be a regression of sorts from all the change. I know that. But it doesn't make it any easier.

And I'm sure a lot of it is our fault. She's always been so independent and so grown up that I think sometimes we forget that she's just FOUR YEARS OLD. No kidding, sometimes I have to check myself when I find me asking tasks of her that an eight year old might not do. I think in a way we've forced her to grow up a lot and maybe she's just not having it.

The thing about Ella though, is that she thrives on tasks. She thrives on being able to help out. To be a leader in her surroundings. She's bossy though and lately she's having such a hard time keeping it in check. And that mouth of hers.... I could go on for days about that but I won't.
So that's where we are at with E. We're struggling a bit but I know we'll get through it. The attitude, the sass; they're all qualities of my girl that make her her. And she's awesome. We just have to keep working to guide those qualities into something useful. Something positive.

And maybe tire her out daily so she'll sleep good at night. That would be awesome.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

2 months

It's cruel how fast time goes. You need to slow this growing up thing down. You hear me?

Coop you are two months old. You are weighing in at 12 pounds 6 ounces (I know right?!) and 23 inches long. You are solidly in - and 3 month clothes. Even your newborn pants are too short now. You have gotten long!

You are a smiley little guy. It may have taken you a while to start giving us those smiles but at 7 weeks it just kind of clicked with you and you've been smiling ever since. We can't get enough. It's the cutest little thing ever.

You've also laughed out loud once on January 12th. Just once though and it was at something your sister was doing. You haven't done it since though.

You've also rolled over once from tummy to back. You were bound and determined you weren't going to do tummy time! You do tolerate tummy time sometimes, but you definitely don't love it.

You are a pro at straightening and standing on those little legs of yours when we hold you up. You still prefer to be facing out when being held and sitting facing out. You just like to see the world.

You have such good head control. You just seem so big already!

You are doing much better with your sleeping. You still aren't a great schedule per se but you've started sleeping around 5-6 hours straight, sometimes seven, most nights so I'll take it. You still have a few nights where you wake at about 2:30 but you just nurse for about 15-20 minutes and then you are right back to sleep. I prefer the mornings you sleep til about 4. Just saying...

You still aren't a great napper. I'm not super strict with you. Maybe I should be, but you aren't unhappy and you aren't screaming so... we shall see. Maybe next month I'll crack down more. Right now? well you can do no wrong.

You are definitely a Mama's boy. You much prefer me to anyone else. I secretly love this. Though it would be nice to have more than 10 minutes to get things done. I need my arms buddy!

You still have the most calm, laid back demeanor. You cry when hungry and when tired. As soon as you start whining that you're tired, we stick a paci in your mouth, swaddle you up, and you are out in minutes. You are really good at putting yourself to sleep as well. I kind of miss having to rock you to sleep but I am glad you can self soothe.

Cooper you've rocked our worlds in the best possible way. It's only been two months but it feels like you were always a part of us. We love you little buddy.

Monday, January 12, 2015

the last few weeks...

So somehow my maternity leave is already over. I literally blinked and 6 weeks were gone. I had all these big plans on what I would get done while I was on "break". Ask me how many I got dome. That's right; zero. But I really don't care. Because I spent my break cuddling a baby. A baby that is already 8 weeks old. I don't even know how that happened.

I keep swearing I'm going to blog more. Blog his everyday like I did with Ella. But I have to be honest, life is busy right now. There's work, church, play, dogs, cat, kids; someone always needs something. And this blog comes last. It kind of has too. But I do really want to have a record for him like I do for Ella. So I'm going to try.

My maternity leave flew by. Coop and I spent a lot of time watching Netflix and cuddling. It was all kinds of awesome. We celebrated Thanksgiving and then Christmas and before I knew it, his first month was up.

There wasn't a lot of time for crazy postpartum hormones. With so many people here, it was hard to just sit around and cry. I did sneak away a few times for a good cry, but overall, the whole postpartum thing was much better this time around. I felt good. Even the crazy nights with him were good. I was tired, but I felt good.

With a four year old sister, there wasn't a lot of time to sit around and do nothing. When she was home, we were busy. So C got dragged to all kinds of Christmas activities. We did Christmasville and Santa visits and ice-skating. We traveled down to Florence and met C's other grandparents and introduced C to one of my best friends. We left C with a sitter for a night while Ella was at a lock in at school and Mr. P and I got a little date night to enjoy dinner and Christmas shopping.

It flew by. I hope to blog more about Christmas soon. It was so fun. E is at such a fun age and C is just a doll.

Cooper is the sweetest baby ever. He was sucking at sleeping, but even that's gotten better the last few nights. I'll talk more about him in his two month post, which somehow is right around the corner. This time around has been so different from E. I don't know why but this baby has me wrapped. I was a schedule nazi with Ella, but with C, I'm letting him do things on his own time. The thought his crying it out breaks my heart and I haven't been able to do it at all. Fortunately he hasn't had too as he's figuring things out pretty well on his own.

I'm so in love with this baby. So in love. I pretty much think the sun and moon rises because of him. I knew I would love him but I couldn't even fathom a love like this. I guess it's true; there really is something special about a Mom and her son. He stole my heart.

Ella has been a rockstar but she honestly deserves her own post full of all the brags. Let's just say that Coop definitely lucked up in the big sister department. He got the best one ever.

So that's where we are. We're trying to figure things out and navigate our new normal. Life is good. It's really good.


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