Tuesday, December 9, 2014

the birth story.

It's been just three weeks since our sweet little guy entered this world and completed our little family.

I'll admit it, by the end of my pregnancy, I was flat over it. I had in my head from the very beginning that I would be induced at 39 weeks. This was thanks to my doctor at the very beginning of my pregnancy telling me "we won't let you go past 39 weeks". So yea. But then as I got to the end, things changed, and my doctor quit talking like that.

Boo hiss.

I quit my heparin shots at just shy of 37 weeks. With Ella, she showed a decrease in growth a week and a half after I stopped. With C, he was handling the lack of heparin like a champ. But it wasn't helping my nerves to go to every appointment and just be told to "come back in a week unless you notice a decrease in movement".

At 37 weeks we had a growth scan that said the little guy was around 7 1/2 pounds. We were told that we would do another growth scan at 39 weeks if he hadn't come yet. I'm pretty sure my head spun as I heard that the doctor was going to let me go past 39 weeks. Not okay.

Now I know that it's best for the baby to stay in as long as possible. I get that. I do. And while I was very, very, VERY uncomfortable, I would have dealt with that until he was ready too. I know it's about him. But not being on meds was freaking me out and all I could see was how E dealt with the change and my biggest fear was that we would leave him in there too long and we would have a problem. A problem where we would have to do a c-section or something else quickly to get him out.

Monday the 17th I had my 39 week appointment. I told both Mr. P and my Mom before I left that I wasn't coming out of there without a plan. I think they thought I was kidding. I was not.

After being checked by the nurse, the doctor came in. He checked my cervix (still closed up like Fort Knox) and then I asked him what the plan was. He asked me if I wanted to be induced, and in typical fashion, I made a joke as an answer while he stared at me blindly. The next thing I knew he was stepping out of the room saying he had to make a call. So I sat there waiting. After a couple of minutes he poked his head back in to tell me that he was trying to get me in that night and did I have time to wait on him to make a couple of phone calls.

Umm what?!

A couple of minutes later I was leaving, but not with an appointment for the next, but instead with a registration paper stating that we were to be checked into the hospital that night. It was 10 am and I was officially starting to panic.

I sent Mr. P a text letting him know what was going on and then I ran to Target so I could pack my hospital bag. I like the pressure of a deadline. After Target, I picked E up from school to spend the afternoon with her.

No lie, I was a bit overwhelmed. I wondered what I would have done if I had known last night was Ella's last night as an only child. I feel like I missed a major moment there but it is what it is.

After a couple of hours, it was time to go. We grabbed our bags, dropped E off at my best friend's house to go hang out for a bit, headed to Wal-mart for some last minute things and then headed to the hospital.
We quickly got registered and moved upstairs. After just a bit, they came up and gave me the first dose of Cryotec to get things going. I was so nervous by this point. My prayer was just that things would move faster than they did with Ella. I made sure to mention to multiple people how fast my labor went after they broke my water with her and they said they would probably do that first thing in the morning. Things were looking up.

They came and brought me an Ambien which had the opposite effect it was supposed to on me and quickly had me wired. I could not sleep. I was awake at 10 pm when they gave me my next dose of the meds and then at 2 am they came in to tell me that my contractions were too close together to have that dose. Things were happening.

In the morning, they came in about 5 to let me know I could go ahead and take a shower if I wanted too. They kept telling me that the things I had been feeling for weeks were contractions but so far they weren't strong enough to really do much. I couldn't believe I had been walking around for weeks with legit contractions. I thought they were Braxton Hicks. Who knew?

At 6 am they came in to get an IV started. It took two nurses and three sticks but eventually they got it going and they got the Pitocin going. It wasn't long at all before my doctor came in. I somehow managed to get the one doctor at the practice that I didn't really know because I had only seen once my whole pregnancy. I wasn't sure about things but she won me over quickly when she went ahead and broke my water at only 1 cm and a +2 station.

After my water was broken, things progressed pretty quickly. I asked for my epidural pretty early because I don't do pain and the guy was in there in no time. Unfortunately, he stuck my first one in a vein so he had to pull that out and start a second one. It wasn't painful but it was pretty hard to sit that straight and that still while having so many contractions. Not fun.

Things went so quickly after my epidural. My contractions were pretty consistent but everything was pretty manageable and I was so happy things were so different from E's delivery. Unfortunately they didn't stay that way.

I started to feel this insane pain in my tailbone. It came out of nowhere and it came fast and fierce. Every single time I had a contraction, it felt like my spine was fixing to shatter. It was by far the most intense pain I ever felt. I quickly felt the intense need to push so the nurse came to check me only to find that I was at a ten but he was still at a +2 station.

The pain was so bad that the anesthesiologist came back twice to up my epidural. It didn't touch it. I ended up with legs so numb that even after my delivery, the anesthesiologist was still in my room even going so far as to hold a leg up for me because he was so worried I would do something to cause nerve damage. It was the weirdest feeling ever. I could barely feel my contractions but it wasn't touching the pain in my tailbone and spine.

The doctor came in to see what was going on and quickly determined his head was stuck on my tailbone and was hitting it every time I had a contraction. Her plan was to try and turn him during a contraction. By this point, the desire to push was so strong that I couldn't help but to push but every push brought that intense pain and made me back off.

It was awful. I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to push because the pain was psyching me out. I ended up with one nurse and B holding my legs, the doctor trying to turn him, and one nurse with a towel playing tug of war with me which was the only way I could think to push.

Eventually his head was off my tailbone and he moved down but then his poor shoulder got stuck. He had somehow switched to face up from his appointment where he was in the perfect position and he was just in a bad position. I was struggling so hard. Everyone was doing their best to cheer me on and encourage me but I have never felt so defeated. I really, really didn't think he was every going to come out.

The doctor ended up getting out the suction to help me. I could feel that he was right there but I could also tell by the faces looking back at me that it needed to happen quickly or we would be going another route. That I didn't want. So I gave it my all. I seriously thought my spine snapped as he finally came out and then things got super hazy.

He didn't make a sound. I could see B checking on him and the doctor quickly assessing him, but I was out. I couldn't even focus. I just stared into space. Finally, he gasped and they handed him to me. He still hadn't cried but he quickly made himself at home on my chest and locked eyes with me. I was so spent I could barely get my hands on him.

Fortunately it didn't take me long to come back. And it didn't take him long to perk up. He only got a 7 on his apgar and he had some serious bruising on his head, but he is absolute perfection. I ended up with a pretty fierce episiotomy but I didn't feel that at all thanks to the super, super numb legs. It wasn't long though, til my epidural wore off and I immediately felt better. Well, except for my tail bone. Pretty sure that thing is still bruised.

But he's here. He's perfection. And he has been the best baby ever. We are so in love.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

thanksgiving 2014

Thanksgiving again.

This year, there is so, so much to be thankful for.

This year, I woke up to my newest little buddy on one side and my sweet girl on the other. My husband was up cooking dinner for all the family we have in town. I was able to sleepily pull C into bed and nurse him quietly while his big sister got up to see what was going on in the rest of the house. We have spent a day surrounded by family, which can be overwhelming, but also kind of the point of the holiday.

There is so much to be thankful for.


I cannot believe I have two little ones this year. I am so glad that His plan is greater than ours and He never ceases to surprise us with how good it is. I'm so thankful for this second little miracle baby. Everything is just so, so good right now.

Happy Thanksgiving y'all.

Monday, November 24, 2014

40 weeks

That's right. He's here!!

On Tuesday, November 18th, Cooper Smith joined, and completed, our little family.

He was born at 12:49 pm after only 7 hours of active labor. He was 7 pounds 12 ounces and 20 3/4 inches long. Head circumference was 14 1/4 inches. He was almost the exact same size as his older sister and couldn't look more like her if he tried.

He is absolute perfection and we are all head over heels in love. Birth story to come....

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

38 weeks


How Far Along? 38 weeks

Total Weight Gained/Loss? enough. too much. whatever.

Sleep: I'm actually sleeping a lot better. Still up about four times a night and still so, so tired. But when I'm asleep, I'm hard asleep.

Best Moment of the Week: this is a tough one.

Movement- still so much movement. And I'm pretty sure he's still trying to drill a hole through my pelvis. It hurts. Like for real.

Food Craving- water. ice. that's about it. Cracker Barrel roast.

Food aversions- all the things. nothing sounds good. nothing.

Symptoms- I did something to my back this week. I was helping E get her winter clothes out and I'm not sure if I twisted funny or what, but my back is KILLING me. It's actually the worst back pain I can remember having. I had to go in to the doctor Monday to get looked at thanks to the back pain and cramps that felt a lot like my period starting. I got checked and things are happening, but my inner cervix (when did there become two?!?) is still closed up tight. So that stinks. And my back is still on fire. Boo hiss and all that jazz.

Labor Signs- some off and on cramping. That's about it. I'm getting to the point where I'm pretty sure this kid is never coming.

Belly Button- flat.

What I miss- not hurting. My whole body hurts. So over this.

What I'm looking forward to- having this baby. Let's go little man!!

Big Sister Status- She seems to be getting excited. She talks about him a lot more. She is just the smartest little girl. She knows I've been in a lot of pain lately and she's so patient. She helps me so much. If I drop something, she's quick to pick it up and hand it back. Every time I say "ouch" or anything along those lines, I get a quick "you ok Mom?". Seriously. This kid, she is the best person ever.

Monday, October 27, 2014

36 weeks


How Far Along? 36 weeks

Total Weight Gained/Loss? 34 pounds. ouch.

Sleep? a little better. I stay tired but I've been having a little bit easier time getting to sleep these days. I still get up at least four or five times a night to use the restroom. That's a chore.

Best Moment of the Week: it's been a decent week. I'm not sure what sticks out as the best though....

Movement- Lots of rolls. There is a foot that is so far out my right side I don't know how any organs are still there. He's found my pelvis and I guess his head or something is there, and OMG the pain.

Food Craving- water. Still. Nothing else really.

Food aversions- everything. Still getting too full too quick and miserable. I've been getting nauseaus a lot lately too. There's been some pukage. Not fun.

Symptoms- pelvic pain. Heartburn. These weird feelings of things being "off". Like everything is slightly off kilter and out of place. I keep getting these feelings of anxiety too. Not sure if these are pregnancy related but I am not a fan.

Labor Signs- still Braxton-Hicks. Lots of them.

Belly Button- flat.

What I miss- my lady bits not hurting. The pain down there is out of control.

What I'm looking forward to- an appointment where they tell me I'm making progress. Can I get that please?!?!?

Big Sister Status- Big Sister is getting ready. I've started talking to her a little bit about the hospital and me being gone for a couple of days. She's not a fan of that at all. She's been a bit clingy lately as well and ends up in our room most nights. I'm cool with that though. She won't be there forever and she does have a HUGE change heading her way. A few extra late night snuggles won't hurt.

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